For The Lost

Hello Faithful Readers!

Well i’m about 4 days into what I’d like to call Tim be Told Boot Camp, however, it involves none of the characteristics of boot camp, but that is besides the point. So, I’m guessing many of you guys are wondering what goes on in Tim be Told Boot Camp. Well, in any band you can imagine that music definitely is a large portion of our time together. As of right now we’re situated in a basement, which feels pretty much like an igloo when the sun starts to set, just hammering away some tunes and polishing the finer details that I never really pay much attention to when I would practice alone.

In my last post, I really tried to challenge myself to pray more about this band and the members and I can really say that God pulled through. You don’t really meet many people where within the first few days you have already established a comfort level, but that’s kinda how it is with the band right now. I praise God for his continual faithfulness in guiding me here and I am looking ahead at what this band can accomplish for Him. Until next time!

So in about a week I’ll be aboard a flight headed to Charlottesville getting ready to kick off our 2011 tour. Since being on tour is a brand new experience for myself, it’s been really hard to really prepare myself. I don’t quite know what to expect. I mean, of course I’ll be playing music, but being a professional musician is so much more than just playing music.

Of course being the “baby” of the band I sought advice from the brains behind the operation Mr. Tim Ouyang, wondering what are some of the ways he prepares for life on the road. He simply replied: Pray.

This got me thinking about my personal prayer life. Strange enough, when I spent the last 3 months wrestling with God about being a musician I can recall the passion and rawness I poured out to God. Now…I seem to have forgotten what He has done for me. My prayer life is nowhere near when I was in the pits. Why? Have I taken this opportunity for granted? I feel like the nation of Israel where God swoops down and becomes the hero, constantly rescuing his broken people from bondage and oppression. How do they respond? They forget. But somewhere down the road they’ll be stuck in some pickle and then all of a sudden they begin to remember about God. Funny enough…God rescues them again. and again. and again.

So tonight I’m going to rediscover what it’s like to come before God not only in the times of my suffering or sorrow or need, but during this time of joy. I’m going to pray more for the people I’m going to encounter during this tour. I’m going to pray for my fellow band members (who I currently feel like we’re engaging in some kind of online dating. I have yet to meet any of them in person, but have only communicated through various social media outlets). and I’m going to pray for you guys, my support group. I’m going to pray that I’ll never take for granted the friendships we’ve cultivated. Whether it’s been long or short the overwhelming support God has blessed me with is something I cannot even begin to describe.

I’ve never classified myself as a musician. Becoming a Musician was a pipe dream of mine that I felt that would never become a reality. It’s still had for me to classify myself as a musician, it’s more like a hobby that is somehow my job. Looking back and seeing where I was before Tim be Told and reflecting on how God put it all together (you can ask me about that later…that’s an entirely different blog entry in itself) and anticipating what God is going to do with me and the band is something that literally brings a smile on my face, but also opens up some insecurities.

First off, I’ve never been real well versed in the music that’s being put out by thousands of talented artists (Tim be Told included) but now I guess as a “musician” one of these perks is that you now get to interact and mingle with other talented artists. Yesterday night, I was youtubing some of the artists we’d be playing with and familiarizing myself with their music. Man, It was humbling. These artists are unbelievably gifted and talented in what they do and for me it’s like…man how did I even get here? I’m not fishing for compliments here, I know God has definitely gifted me with an ability to play the drums but in the “professional” setting…I mean…that stuff only happens in movies right?!

Being so insecure and so humbled I had no choice but to really depend on God. As a small suburban boy getting a chance to be part of the music scene, I know the only thing I can do is first Praise God for this opportunity and trust that if He brought me up to this point. He’s going to bring be all the way through. 


Phil 1:5-6

“Because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”


So man I’m so eager and excited to kick this new chapter of my life off. I hope you guys will continue to keep me and the band in your constant prayers. Using music to touch the deepest part of a person’s soul is something very real and very powerful.

I’m definitely gonna make it an effort to blog more on the road and let you guys be part of this and see how God is working in my life and in the band.

I’m trying to find beauty in the mess that you made. 

God are you listening, please hear my cry. I will barely believe you’re more cruel than you’re kind

Yes I know you are great, and that you’re a good God and you are good

How much more will it take, to undo the damage that I have done

Please God redeem it and the darkness inside 

shine your light on this poor heart of mine

Maybe my faith will survive 

Blank

Lord I need it. 

Jeremiah 17:5-10 

 ⁵ This is what the LORD says: 
       “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, 
       who depends on flesh for his strength 
       and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

 ⁶ He will be like a bush in the wastelands; 
       he will not see prosperity when it comes. 
       He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, 
       in a salt land where no one lives.

 ⁷ ”But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, 
       whose confidence is in him.

 ⁸ He will be like a tree planted by the water 
       that sends out its roots by the stream. 
       It does not fear when heat comes; 
       its leaves are always green. 
       It has no worries in a year of drought 
       and never fails to bear fruit.”

 ⁹ The heart is deceitful above all things 
       and beyond cure. 
       Who can understand it?

 ¹⁰ ”I the LORD search the heart 
       and examine the mind, 
       to reward a man according to his conduct,
       according to what his deeds deserve
 

Why can’t I trust in that…? 

God’s been moving in my life and opening up doors to meet a number of people. Biggest transition is not even a transition. It’s a crossroads or waiting game that has been really stretching my faith.

I’ve always linked my life to Music and it wasn’t until God revealed to me that those links were actually my chains. Music was my IDOL. It was more than a hobby and more than something to pass the time. It consumed me. I was convinced my whole purpose was set on playing Music and making a name for myself. You wouldn’t believe the hours spent practicing, daydreaming, watching bands perform live. I would get goosebumps just watching bands play in front a massive crowd thinking…if I could only accomplish that or participate in that MY LIFE WOULD BE COMPLETE. I put my existence in the hands of Musical achievements.

Until…

Summer 2007. Music became music and god became God and I saw firsthand how God uses music for his glory. Prison in Guatemala City is very unique. Inmates are color-coded based on their crime. From least severe to most severe. We were escorted by men armed with shotguns and high powered rifles into the common area where the most memorable concert of my life takes place. We set up all our equipment and kick off our show. Playing on stage naturally creates somewhat of a barrier between the band and the audience. The key is to use music to breach that barrier. 

The start of our show

  
In any show, that space between is the barrier between the band and audience.


God used music to breach it.



So in the midst of all this Tim Be Told hooplah…I’m at a crossroads BUT at the end of the day I put my hope in Christ and not in the “What-ifs” that is in the future.

Habakkuk 3 17-18 

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines, 
    though the olive crop fails 

     and the fields produce no food, 
     though there are no sheep in the pen 
     and no cattle in the stalls,

 ¹⁸ yet I WILL rejoice in the LORD, 
       I WILL be joyful in God my Savior

I’m so lost without you.

Therefore DO NOT be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, NOT because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.
(2 Tim 1:8-9)



“Paul tells YOU that before there was any human sin in the world that needed grace, before Adam had sinned, before the world existed, God gave grace to YOU in Christ Jesus for salvation. God had YOU in view, and He had Jesus Christ in view, and He had grace is view, and He had salvation in view before there was any world or any human sin or any human guilt.”

John Piper: The Spectacular Sin




Even before the concept of time, before anything existed, God poured our everything when I deserved nothing.